return my video game
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We had sex on a dog bed..
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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