we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize