i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
