somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
