You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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