you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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