belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
