...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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