broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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