you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just sucked dick on a ferry
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
