Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
