he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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