So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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