love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
