Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
