The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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