sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
We smell like vodka and hangover
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize