Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
