i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
So squirting runs in the family.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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