i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
