i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
