Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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