So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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