you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
