jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
