wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
