he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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