So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
