how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize