He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
