I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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