So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
