im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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