Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize