wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize