The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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