that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
