This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
