Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
