I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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