is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Randomize