i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
