PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
