no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
