I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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