He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
