Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
you will always have a special place in my vag
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
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