yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
