my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize