before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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