It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
my being single is dangerous.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
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