You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
