dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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