Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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