physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
