So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
