His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
