Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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