My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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