i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
