It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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