she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I could fuck to npr.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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