I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
