Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize