I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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