I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
