I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
