dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
