I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
