Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
