oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
