Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
