dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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