How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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